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Wassap, hotties! Today I’m revealing my original recipe: VEGGIE BIRTHDAY CAKE. No cooking required! Life doesn’t get any easier than this.
This cake appeared in my dream one night. I decided to make the dream into a reality. Watch the video for detailed instructions.
Look below for the recap.
Step 1: Get a cylindrical container. Not too big nor too small.
Step 2: We’re going to put a surprise inside the container. I’m using the uber sweet cherimoya.
Step 3: Wrap your surprise produce if it’s ripe and delicate. I wrapped my cherimoya in two sheets of paper towel to prevent it from any potential bruising.
Step 4: Cut up some celery just slightly shorter than your container. Don’t be shy to use your ruler.
Step 5: Line up your celery sticks around the cherimoya for additional cushioning. This shields your ripe cherimoya from bruising.
Step 6: Put yo lid on!
Step 7: Carefully flip your container. Make sure your lid doesn’t fall off. Wrap two rubber bands: one on the bottom edge, one 1/3 from the top.
Step 8: Grab your family of asparagus. Cut them two centimeters taller than your container. We’re not using the ends, so feel free to eat them. I know I did.
Step 9: Slide your asparagus sticks under the rubber bands…
…until you circle the whole container. Around the world and back! Make sure there are no awkward spaces between each stick.
Step 10: Cut your Persian cucumber into 1/2 centimeter thick slices.
Step 11: Place two layers of your cucumber slices in a circle. Leave the middle empty. We’re putting something pretty here in just a bit.
Step 12: Get a fluffy handful of sprouts. Make it into a doughnut shape and put it on the top. Keep the middle empty.
Step 13: Peel off some petals of artichoke. Spread the petals out like a blossoming flower. Cut the stem off. Then place it on the cake where the empty area is.
Step 14: Sprinkle on some baby tomatoes around the base of the cake.
Yeayaaaaaaa! We’re done. Now let’s head to the party before we inhale this cake.
The birthday girl holding her veggie cake 
Why are elephants scared of mice?
Why are humans scared of spiders?
The other midnight I encountered a moth. Tall as my thumb. As I cautiously walked away from it, the moth flew into my face. Maybe it was trying to kiss me. Maybe it was in self-defense mode. Or maybe it mistaken my pale skin for the moon.
Whatever its intention, I jumped with surprise. I confess I squealed. I closed the door, isolating the moth in the bathroom.
It was just a moth. Why was I scared? Who’s a thousand times bigger?
Fear. It is a bug.
Our personal fear may look tiny to other people, but in our minds, it’s huge.
We give fear so much attention that it thinks its a superstar.
From an objective perspective, fear is just fear.
Yet our physical form affects our judgement.
If you were a fly, you’d have acrophobia. Not coprophobia.
If you were a tree, your entomophobia would be greater than peladophobia.
Or so you’d assume.
Who knew humans would be so frightened by spiders?
No fear is greater than another.
Fear is as great as you see it.
The next time you encounter fear, squish it.
It’s smaller than you think.
Sometimes it’s easy to think negative.
Most of the time.
No. All the time.
Someone cuts you off while you’re driving.
SON.OF.A.B(@&%&!)$*%!!!
You’re at the gym.
The girl next to you talks on the phone.
One minute goes by. Fine minutes. Ten minutes.
“Oh my gawd, he what, she what, blalalala…”
SHUT.THE.F#@$(@#$&# UP!!!
The man treadmilling on the other side farts.
WHAT.THE.F#@*$@(#&$&@#!!!!!
But why get worked up on temporary situations?
Even long-term problems don’t last forever.
Nothing lasts forever.
There’s a joy in that.
The next time someone cuts me off, talks loud at the gym and farts in my presence, I will replace my default reaction with a smile.
I will divert my focus onto something pleasant.
Like a sweet baby coconut.
Bird craps on the car after a wash.
SWEET BABY COCONUT!!!
The washer and dryer eat my clothes.
SWEET BABY COCONUT!!!
The neighbor’s dog just won’t stop barking past midnight.
SWEET BABY COCONUT TIMES ONE HUNDRED!!!
Rather than trying not to think about something (i.e. pink elephants),
Think about something else (i.e. rainbow hippos).
The lesson: Distract yourself.
It’s the only way to keep sane in this world.
There’s a yummy solution to every problem.
You just have to cook one up.
What do you do with a thousand business cards?
In my senior year of college I ordered a box of business cards for our grad show.
I overestimated my popularity amongst industry professionals.
And the general public.
By the end of the event my main concern was not my popularity, but the fate of my business cards.
Because I’m environmentally conscious like that.
I decided to get creative.
I took out my scissors.
Curious what I came up with after a few cuts and snips?
An opportunity faces you eye-to-eye.
But is it YOUR opportunity?
There are times when it lands right in front of your doorstep. In a package wrapped with a pretty bow on top. You’re tempted to open it, but are you the designated recipient? Or was it mailed to the wrong address? Maybe you’re thinking, “If no one else takes it, I’ll take it.”
Opportunities come in such pretty packages.
Today I was presented with one. It was very pretty with a big-arse bow on top. No name to whom it’s for. I debated on opening it.
Then I asked myself: is this opportunity pushing me closer to my dreams or is it a distraction? Is it a temporary distraction that’s progress in disguise?
You never know if you don’t go.
After all, one opportunity leads to another.
If you are ever in a similar situation, ask yourself these questions:
Why you are so tempted by this opportunity?
What does this opportunity mean to you?
Do you desire this opportunity for its essence or for its shiny benefits?
Do you eat food for nutrition or for taste?
Do you travel to Thailand for the culture or for the girls?
Get to the root of why this opportunity is so seductive.
Or not.
You can open the package without much thought.
Or put it to the side. Let it collect dust.
Whatever your style is, go for it.
No one’s stopping you.
What is heaven? And where is it?
For the religious, heaven is a place where you go in the afterlife.
For others, heaven is a feeling: extreme bliss.
Particularly when their taste buds are delighted.
Or when they are embraced by a breath-taking landscape.
Or when they are deeply in love.
For me, heaven lies in a young coconut.
I sip on my straw, close my eyes and daydream…
The coconut–a $2.25 roundtrip ticket–takes me to Phuket.
In reality I’ve never been to Thailand.
That’s okay.
It’s all psychological, but to be honest, what isn’t?
Lucky me I have two heavens.
The other lies in bossam.
Steamed pork wrapped in lettuce.
I do not visit this second heaven as much as I wish,
for I limit my amount of red meat,
but when I do I indulge.
Life is good.
Obviously an understatement.
Heaven is a place on earth.
It can be simple or as complex as you’d like it to be.
But try to keep it simple.
Who doesn’t want to visit heaven whenever possible?
I’ve got a plane ride to catch.
My coconut waits patiently in the refrigerator.
I’ll write you a postcard as I sunbathe next to the Andaman Sea.
